Dad Stuff: A Schmaltzy Advert

I don't know if it's the time of my life that I'm in or how I've been feeling leading up to Father's Day but I've become a bit of a sucker for cheesey, schmaltzy stuff like this:


To counteract the corporate advertising I've been sucked into, check out this awesome video of a Dad who dressed up every day to wave goodbye to his son as he caught the bus. Classic:

Dad Stuff: Kids Movies

I often think about the media we expose our children to and what it's teaching them. We don't have a TV aerial but we do watch a lot of DVDs. This incredible TEDx talk by Colin Stokes gave me a lot to think of in terms of strong female leads. It may just make you rethink your childrens media intake or hopefully it lets you know you're on the right track. Either way, check it out below:

Dad Stuff: BatDad

Being a Dad can be fun and it doesn't have to be serious all the time. For some reason BatDad makes me laugh. The main reason is because the children seem so nonplussed and it's just another day with a crazy Dad for them. Pretty sure my own children feel the same way about me.

Enjoy BatDad:

Dad Stuff: Dark Side Of The Moon

I heard this the other day and it absolutely stopped me in my tracks. Well, it made me stop peddling my bike home from work and wipe some pesky dust out of both of my eyes (hate it when that happens).

Chris Staples totally sums up parenthood in this incredibly sweet song from his 'American Soft' album. This is for all the Dads out there

Dad Stuff: Skin

Tom Gould, an incredibly talented guy from New Zealand shot this short film posted below. It's fascinating to read about people from different backgrounds and lifestyles. What's even more interesting to me is that people can be so different, yet the profound changes that come with parenthood are the same no matter who you are.

Check out 'Skin' by Tom Gould:

Episode Thirty Four: Be Human

Hey team, long time no see!

I haven't written for a while because I've had a crazy Winter. We've had stomach bugs, the flu, floods, rats in the ceiling, glue ear and everything in between. All in all, I've been living a very human life and this is what I want to talk to you about.

 A few months back I wrote about how my plan was to go from a 'How To' blog to a documentation of what I've been doing with my children. I was hoping to inspire you along the way. Unfortunately over the last few months it's felt like I've just been keeping my head above water. My baby girl hasn't been sleeping at night and either my wife and I end up sleeping in her bed or she with us. My youngest boy needs his second lot of grommets, has just started school and can't hear a thing. My oldest boy is struggling at school and not getting the support he needs. My wife and I are exhausted and so we haven't done many amazing things with our children. I barely have time to jump on the trampoline after work or play Lego before dinner. That's about the extent of what I've done with them. It's not that I've been neglecting them, I just haven't done anything Instagrammable, blog-worthy or pinnable. What I'm really trying to say to you, is that I've just been human. I'm no superhero. I'm no Father of the Year. I'm just a busy Dad trying to do the best he can. Sometimes that's all we can do. And guess what? That's OK.

What I've been trying to practise in between the book reading and the swing-pushing with my children is being real around them. I've talked to them about my feelings, my struggles, my guilt and my worries. Not to scare them or to upset them, but to show them that I'm human. I always tell people that my own relationship with my Dad started off with me thinking he was Superman, growing up to be a teenager and realising he was just a human, the becoming a parent myself and finding he was super human. I think there is danger in portraying ourselves as infallible and indestructible to our children.

I like to think that I'm raising healthy children by painting a realistic picture about what it means to be a Dad - and a large part of that puzzle is just being a human trying to find your way. I often tell my oldest son that I don't exactly know what I'm doing. I tell him that he reaches the milestones first and thus he is the testing ground for my parenting. Sometimes I will make a decision or discipline him and a day later come back and change my mind or apologise. I explain to him that I'm learning as I go along and I make mistakes. It's important to me that he knows that I'm in control of his parenting and that no matter what: all my decisions and actions come from a place of love and growth. But it's also important for me to show him that I'm just a guy who had kids. Nothing more, nothing less.

I think that sometimes we put up a facade when we're dealing with our children that gives them a false sense of who we are. This can extend to the people in our lives: our work colleagues, our wives, our family. Sometimes it can really ease the stress and the expectations that we put on ourselves (or rid the expectations we think people hold of us) by showing the people around us that we're just human and there's nothing wrong with that.

Have fun!

Episode Thirty Three: Saturday Sports

Over the last few weeks we have been talking about sacrificing or putting our own experiences aside in order to give our children a full life. This is my own example of putting my money where my mouth is: Saturday Sports.

My Saturday Sports career goes something like this: I played two matches of J.A.B rugby and on my second match got tackled so hard by guys three times my size that I thought, "there has got to be a better way" and that better way was sleeping in on Saturday mornings instead. Fast forward twenty odd years and I've never looked back. My sporting ability extends to backyard/beach cricket in the summer, two square when the mood strikes me and rugby on the trampoline with my kids. True story.

I never grew up in a family that gets up early on Saturday mornings to freeze on some field to play footy or to support someone in our family who was risking frostbite and twisted ankles. When it became apparent that my middle boy was somewhat of a natural athlete my wife and I fretted over the day when he would be old enough for Saturday Sports. Neither of us are particularly athletic, nor fond of doing anything on Saturday mornings

As we all know, our children are sent here to teach us - and test us. My middle boy is no exception. He has dragged his brother and I outside for games of rugby, soccer, throws-and-catches and trampoline sessions more times than we would like. But, that is where he finds his joy. He is a natural at anything physical and while his older brother is some sort of reading savant, the middle boy enjoys having something over his bookworm brother. Natural sibling rivalry, I guess. Running around kicking footballs, throwing softballs and doing flips on the trampoline are his happy place.

It's all very well to write this and say "You know what? I manned up and I enrolled him in soccer this season and that makes me an awesome Dad!". The real truth is, I had to learn how to be a Saturday Sport parent. I've never had one to observe. How do they act? What do they say? How do they deal with disappointment (their child's and their own)? How do they tread that fine line between fair play and win-or-die? How do they deal with their children getting injured by a stray elbow? Chin up, mate or Come on, Ref!!!

Guess what? I don't know. But like all Dads, I'm learning on the job. I'm seeing first hand what my sacrifice is doing for him. He's learning team work, perseverance, commitment and most of all he's learning that his Dad is there for him, whether he's passionate about his pursuit or not.

Unfortunately, your children may not follow in your footsteps. They might not be interested in what you love. But whatever they become interested in, you'll be giving them the world if you put yourself aside and enable them. Whether it be sports on a Saturday, driving them to a Dungeons & Dragons tournament or some other fan dangle thing you don't get. Put yourself aside and put them first. You'll both get so much out of it, trust me.

Have fun!