Episode Thirty Three: Saturday Sports

Over the last few weeks we have been talking about sacrificing or putting our own experiences aside in order to give our children a full life. This is my own example of putting my money where my mouth is: Saturday Sports.

My Saturday Sports career goes something like this: I played two matches of J.A.B rugby and on my second match got tackled so hard by guys three times my size that I thought, "there has got to be a better way" and that better way was sleeping in on Saturday mornings instead. Fast forward twenty odd years and I've never looked back. My sporting ability extends to backyard/beach cricket in the summer, two square when the mood strikes me and rugby on the trampoline with my kids. True story.

I never grew up in a family that gets up early on Saturday mornings to freeze on some field to play footy or to support someone in our family who was risking frostbite and twisted ankles. When it became apparent that my middle boy was somewhat of a natural athlete my wife and I fretted over the day when he would be old enough for Saturday Sports. Neither of us are particularly athletic, nor fond of doing anything on Saturday mornings

As we all know, our children are sent here to teach us - and test us. My middle boy is no exception. He has dragged his brother and I outside for games of rugby, soccer, throws-and-catches and trampoline sessions more times than we would like. But, that is where he finds his joy. He is a natural at anything physical and while his older brother is some sort of reading savant, the middle boy enjoys having something over his bookworm brother. Natural sibling rivalry, I guess. Running around kicking footballs, throwing softballs and doing flips on the trampoline are his happy place.

It's all very well to write this and say "You know what? I manned up and I enrolled him in soccer this season and that makes me an awesome Dad!". The real truth is, I had to learn how to be a Saturday Sport parent. I've never had one to observe. How do they act? What do they say? How do they deal with disappointment (their child's and their own)? How do they tread that fine line between fair play and win-or-die? How do they deal with their children getting injured by a stray elbow? Chin up, mate or Come on, Ref!!!

Guess what? I don't know. But like all Dads, I'm learning on the job. I'm seeing first hand what my sacrifice is doing for him. He's learning team work, perseverance, commitment and most of all he's learning that his Dad is there for him, whether he's passionate about his pursuit or not.

Unfortunately, your children may not follow in your footsteps. They might not be interested in what you love. But whatever they become interested in, you'll be giving them the world if you put yourself aside and enable them. Whether it be sports on a Saturday, driving them to a Dungeons & Dragons tournament or some other fan dangle thing you don't get. Put yourself aside and put them first. You'll both get so much out of it, trust me.

Have fun!

Episode Thirty: Go Fish!

Hey Team! I missed out last week as I was in Australia for a few days and totally forgot all about you. Never mind, I'm back this week with a classic one.

I can't believe I haven't used this idea yet: Fishing! First, a little disclaimer: I'm not a fishing kind of guy. I used to go fishing now and then with my Dad when I would stay at his place. All in all I was pretty crap at it and not very patient. I remember once I caught 13 Herrings off the Kinohaku Bridge and another time I caught 8 Kahawai in a net in the Kawhia Harbour. That is about the extent of my fishing career.

But, now that I have two boys who are old enough to not run off the side of a wharf into the water below, I'm really enjoying the idea of fishing. Luckily for me, my boys seem to enjoy it. Either that or they humour me. I'm happy either way. On sunny Saturdays we try our luck and put our rag-tag collection of fishing tackle in the water to see what happens. 

We don't really have much luck and that affects the enthusiasm of these two guys, but they still stick with it. I find it's a constant struggle for them to keep their lines in the water. Every two minutes they want to check your bait - that might have something to do with our success rate.

There are so many things our children can experience in an afternoon of fishing: The practice of patience, getting their hands dirty/fishy, learning sustainable fishing practices, hand/eye coordination and the practice of patience.

We've combined a lot of our fishing outings with the local kid's fishing competitions that are held in our town. These are great because they're geared around encouraging a new generation of fisherpeople. Not only is there the promise of prizes for heaviest fish etc etc. Often times the kids will get prizes for entering or be eligible for spot prizes. The last two we have been to have had a free sausage sizzle. Good times.

My three tips for you are these:

1. Be prepared to end up doing most of the fishing yourself while your children 'just check out that boat at the other end of the wharf'. Happens every time.
2. If you do end up hooking a fish while you're holding their rod - resist the temptation to reel it in yourself. Ask them to check the bait. They'll wind in the line and voila! They've caught a fish.
3. Always have a contingency plan that involves stopping in at the local fish n chip shop to drown your sorrows. It's almost tradition, right?

Have fun!

Episode Twenty Nine: Some Ideas Fail

Last year we tried making popsicle stick bow and arrows. I can't claim this idea as my own sorry, this comes from an amazing blog called The Brooding Hen. I saw the idea on Pinterest and straight away thought my boys would love it. I was right but we got it oh so wrong.

Some times you try ideas and they don't work. I think it's really important to acknowledge that. I think it's important for me to share with you that sometimes my kids aren't into the ideas. Or we miss out an ingredient or something breaks. This was the case with our first attempt at making these bows and arrows. But that's OK.

What I've found with my sons is that if they can't nail something straight away, they're not interested. This goes for the ideas that we try sometimes or big things like learning to ride a bike. If they don't believe they can succeed first pop - or if they don't pull off a trick straight away, they're not into it. This is totally understandable, and I even get that way some times. But it's how we deal with this disappointment and disinterest that shapes our character.

The first time we tried making the bow and arrows, I didn't soak the sticks for long enough and the majority of them snapped. The ones that didn't snap, bent the wrong way and the bow string sort of twisted around in a way that made the arrows hard to launch. My bright idea that I was so excited to share with my boys was met with rolled eyes and my boys promptly moved on. Stink.

But, I decided to put the idea on the shelf and come back to it another day. You're not going to be Tony Hawk straight away. What's important though is learning that you aren't always going to be amazing first go. Some things are really hard to do and take practise. That's why we admire our sports heroes or favourite musicians. They honed their craft to a point that it makes it look easy. So easy, in fact, that you believe that it really is - until you pick up a guitar or jump on a skateboard. What I wanted to teach my sons was that, yes, some things don't work first time - but that's no reason to give up. That's no reason to never try again.

Earlier this year I dusted the idea off and we gave it another crack. The mini bow and arrows worked out perfectly and we had heaps of fun. Neither of my boys mentioned the previous failed attempt (which was weird) and we had a blast.

It just goes to show, just because you're not an expert straight off doesn't mean you never will be. Teach your kids to keep trying and who knows what they'll achieve.

Have fun!