tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90047694796218643752024-03-14T09:04:56.457+13:00Ideas For DadsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04882962427000495147noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-11951311667444997452015-06-08T09:00:00.000+12:002015-06-08T09:00:06.956+12:00Episode Forty: Grieving<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: red;">Warning - some of the content of this post might be upsetting to some readers.</span></div>
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Our cat died. Our poor old, eighteen year old cat that was a big part of our family finally left us. We knew it was coming as she was very old and was starting to look a bit frail, however it was still a very sad shock for us all.</div>
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As parents, my wife and I knew that there was going to be some difficult discussions and questions coming about our cat Porridge's passing. When Porridge died we jumped headfirst into the honesty and tried not to hide anything about the experience from our children. This included letting them see her (although she was hit by a car there was no blood or visible trauma which was a blessing), letting them touch her and talking about the realities of death. We didn't tell them she'd gone to live on a farm or anything fanciful - just the truth.</div>
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We found a place to bury her behind the house and I started digging. The children were keen to be involved and asked for turns with the spade so I let them. I was glad they were asking to be involved in what was a pretty crummy situation. </div>
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To see them comfort each other in their grief was both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Loss isn't easy and to see the children hugging each other and talking through their thoughts and feelings made me feel hopeful for any future times of grief they'll go through together.<br />
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I have to say that a lot of their tricky or left-of-centre questions were helpfully answered by a book that we already had in the bookcase: 'I Miss You - A First Look At Death' by Pat Thomas (<a href="http://www.bookdepository.com/I-Miss-You-First-Look-at-Death-Pat-Thomas/9780764117640" target="_blank">this can be purchased here</a>). It's a great book that talks quite matter-of-factly about the nature of living things dying but also covers the emotions that go with grief quite tenderly.<br />
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I personally don't have a great amount of experience with the loss of loved ones so this whole experience was important to me to share with my children. I wanted them to know that feeling sad or asking crazy questions is perfectly normal and OK in our house. That if they wanted to poke and prod their cat's lifeless body that was fine. If they wanted to put flowers in the grave, that wasn't a problem. If they were worried about the soil being thrown on top of their cat's body, that wasn't a silly thing to think. It was also important for them to see their parents crying and feeling sad about saying goodbye to a family member they loved.<br />
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In the end, I was pretty thankful to that cat for all that it taught our children while it was alive and finally when she died.Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-23899773355314126422015-06-01T16:24:00.001+12:002015-06-01T16:28:11.184+12:00Episode Thirty Nine: Toasting Marshmallows<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hey Team!</div>
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A lot has been going on behind the scenes with Ideas For Dads including a brand new website. I can't wait to share that with you. I've also been working on a wee giveaway that I hope to share with you within the next month. Keep your eyes peeled.</div>
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Toasting marshmallows is my latest idea and, admittedly, it's nothing new. This was one of my favourite past time as a kid usually reserved for evenings on the beach or around a bonfire somewhere. But at my house we're quite fond of having a brazier going and a few beers. It's also a good chance to burn the results of our tree pruning etc.</div>
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While we were camping at our favourite, local campground our children invited themselves to a bonfire on the beach where the kids were toasting marshmallows. Part of me relived this fun childhood memory while another part of me wondered how this could be transferred to home life.</div>
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My father-in-law got handy with some number eight wire and created perfect skewers for toasting marshmallows without burning your fingers. Armed with some dry firewood, some circulars from the letterbox and a trusty box of matches we fired up the brazier and brought the magic of that evening at the campground home to our house.</div>
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We have a great time figuring out who has the best technique for toasting, who has the most patience and who can fit the most marshmallows on a skewer without them falling off. The best part about this whole idea is that you can do this so easily in your own backyard plus it's a neat thing to do in the Winter with the heat from the fire keeping everyone warm and entertained.</div>
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There are some excellent opportunities to teach your children about fire safety and get them comfortable around fire, smoke and all that fun stuff. But most of all it's a great chance to bring the whole family together outside and doing something that will put a smile on their faces. As demonstrated above.</div>
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Have fun!</div>
Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-67423230239208650782015-04-20T10:00:00.000+12:002015-04-20T10:00:00.956+12:00Episode Thirty Eight: Teach Them A Chore<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hi again Team!</div>
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Wow, I've been meaning to do this idea for a long time now but have never got around to writing about it. I don't know if you're anything like me - but if you are, the images below make you feel a certain way. Like a father teaching his son to shave, something about letting your kid push the lawnmower around just pulls at the manly heart strings. Manly ones, of course. I'm not really that sort of guy but there's something about the noise, the petrol fumes and the danger that makes me love pushing the lawnmower around the yard. To share that with my middle boy is a dream come true.</div>
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First I should make two disclaimers: One) We borrowed this lawnmower and it was the <i>quietest</i> lawnmower I've ever heard, which is why neither of us are wearing hearing protection in these photos. Please use common sense when letting your children use machinery. Two) We had to borrow this lawnmower because we have people mow our lawns on a fortnightly basis for us. It was just that with the Christmas holidays they were on a break and our lawn needed doing.</div>
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I knew as soon as I ripped the cord on the mower that my son would come running out asking if he could have a go. He's only five but I thought with some supervision and instruction it would be no problem and I knew he would enjoy it so much. So away we went! I got him started on the grass strip down the centre of our driveway and then I turned the mower off. I talked him through all the parts of the mower and also lifted it up and showed him the blade and explained why he should never, ever put his hand in or under there. I then told him the story of the one-armed lawnmower repairman who lived in my town when I was growing up. True fact! </div>
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From there we got the mower started and away he went. Sure, mowing the lawns isn't a chore we do ourselves but it is something that contributes to making our house look good and function well. There are so many things that we as caregivers do to keep the house running. There is something to be said about introducing these to your children. They don't have to take them on straight away, but an awareness of them is a healthy thing. I certainly don't want to raise children who think the toilet cleans itself or expects clean washing to just appear in their drawers.</div>
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It's really hard to know when you should get your children contributing to the household jobs and what you should give them. I'm really interested to hear what your children do and at what age. For comparison to my own children, mainly. I grew up having to do a lot for myself and I'm often stuck between wanting to pass on that same skill set but also allow them to have a easier upbringing than I did. Very hard to find the balance, don't you think?</div>
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Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-4275238974905537612015-04-13T13:00:00.000+12:002015-04-13T13:00:00.453+12:00Episode Thirty Seven: Get Chickens<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Hello again Team! </div>
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There have been a lot of ideas I've shared that are pretty easy to do and use things you may have lying around the house. This one, not so much. This one take a little more effort and frankly, it's not for everyone. Either way, this weeks idea is get chickens.</div>
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First things first: Most councils within New Zealand have bylaws surrounding keeping chickens in suburban areas (the majority of them do not allow for roosters within town) so make sure you're aware of what you're allowed and not allowed to do. There can be some pretty stringent rules around how far away from dwellings and fences the chickens are allowed to be. Don't get caught out.</div>
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Once you've got that bit of homework done, the fun times begin. For us that meant building a chicken house and a pen for them to be kept within. There are a lot of differing opinions on how much room chickens actually need - not much room if you talk to battery hen farmers. However, we've opted for around 10m2 for five chickens. They seem pretty happy with that.</div>
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Chicken houses differ and companies like Farmlands sell pre-made ones which can be quite cool. I've made my own using forklift pallets I've found behind various shops around town. The cool thing about building your own is that you can make tweaks and changes - trust me, there will be a few variations needed as chickens are quite particular about where they lay and roost.</div>
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From there it's a case of finding chickens to buy. TradeMe is your friend. We got all sorts of advice around what sort of breed we should be looking for and in the end opted for Brown Shavers. They are pretty hearty and lay quite consistently. There is a great online resource called '<a href="http://www.chickensbydesign.co.nz/breeds.php" target="_blank">Chickens By Design</a>' that has some good info around breeds and how to choose your chickens. </div>
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For our children it's been a great excercise in seeing food being brought to the table from their back yard. We feed our chickens our various table scraps and compostables and in turn they provide us with five eggs a day. Our kids are pretty stoked to go out every day, feed them and collect the eggs. It's the same theory as gardening and bringing your veggies to your plate - just with less fuss.</div>
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I've also learnt a lot about chickens myself. I didn't realise how curious they are. If I'm working in their pen making adjustments or even in the backyard near them, they love to gather around and get involved. They can be quite smart too!</div>
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Anyways, this idea may not be for anyone but I guess this is my way of sharing the fact that we've got chickens and they are super low fuss, fun for our children and we haven't had to buy eggs since getting them. If you've been toying with the idea of chickens in your backyard, do it. Trust me, it's great fun. It's nice to have spare eggs to give away and incredibly easy to entice people to feed them while you're away on holiday (they just collect their eggs as payment as they go!).</div>
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Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-58901629156895277192015-02-13T13:00:00.000+13:002015-02-13T13:00:02.973+13:00Cool Stuff: HeightsI can't stand heights. I can sometimes convince myself to go up high or go up ladders but I have this weird thing where afterwards I think about how I could have fallen off and get panicky.<br />
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I talked about not letting <a href="http://ideasfordads.blogspot.co.nz/2014/05/episode-thirty-two-get-up-high.html" target="_blank">your own fears get in the way of your childrens progress here</a>.<br />
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Anyways, check out this video below. It made my heart race but looks like the coolest job in the world regardless.<br />
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A lot better than this job at least:<br />
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Have fun!Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-11384368968196233122015-02-11T13:00:00.000+13:002015-02-11T13:00:03.362+13:00Episode Thirty Six: Go Camping<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Man, this one seems so obvious, I can't believe I haven't written this before. Or have I?</div>
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Every year my family (and my in-laws) go camping at a camp ground not far from where we live. It's about 40 minutes drive away but on the other side of the harbour so it feels like we've gone away but still close enough to race home and get the things we've forgotten.</div>
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Camping when I was little was being in a nylon pup tent on a bare piece of land on the West Coast of the North Island. Foam mattresses, solar showers and instant pudding. However, these days we camp a bit more comfortably with a powered site, the modern creature comforts and maybe a few luxury items in the chilly bin. The point being however you camp (glamping or roughing it), it's an awesome experience for your children.</div>
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The main thing I like is how the everyday household processes are broken down right in front of your children. They see how much effort it takes to make dinner using a gas stove or how much of a hassle it is to do dishes in the communal kitchen. It gets them to think about how easy things are at home and how much is done for them. It does for my kids anyway! There is always a look of realisation on their faces as they get to see all the steps of doing the laundry first-hand - not hidden in a room at the other end of the house.</div>
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Sure, there's the cool parts like spending all day on the beach riding waves and making sandcastles. There is the ecstasy of flopping into bed at the end of a hard day running around the sand dunes. There is the squelch of mud between your toes as you <a href="http://ideasfordads.blogspot.co.nz/2014/01/episode-twenty-six-go-crabbing.html" target="_blank">hunt for crabs</a>. Those are the things that memories are made of. However as a father I love using camping as a way to give them a 'behind the scenes' of domesticated life and to use that to challenge them. Push them into doing more around the place. Weird huh.</div>
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Whether you're a strange person like me who uses camping to show his children how good they've got it, or as a way to leave the hustle of every day life behind, taking your children camping is so good for them. To get back to basics and get amongst nature, leave the screens behind and have some good quality family time.</div>
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What does camping look like for you? Leave a comment, I'm interested.</div>
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Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-31012325815868714082015-01-30T13:00:00.000+13:002015-01-30T13:00:05.153+13:00Cool Stuff: Ideas on Zen Habits<a href="http://zenhabits.net/" target="_blank">Zen Habits</a> is a blog I discovered a long time ago. I try not to visit there too often as I know I'll get stuck in a wormhole of content. There is so much good stuff in there. Also, it makes me feel frustrated with where my life is at and how amazing this guy's life seems. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that.<br />
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Anyhow, <a href="http://zenhabits.net/career/" target="_blank">I stumbled across this article the other day</a> and it's a 15 year old asking him for advice on what to do with her life. There are some interesting suggestions there - but I looked at them as interesting ideas I could share with my children. It's the middle of the holidays and they need something to do, just to get them through those boring hours between lunch time and dad coming home (haha). I voxer'ed a message to them to say "Do something that scares you" - or some such.<br />
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With a bit of imagination and forethought, I can think you could use this article to come up with some cool ideas and nurture some values that set up your children for a future where entrepreneurship is the norm.<br />
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What do you reckon?Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-45467678447487964162015-01-28T13:00:00.000+13:002015-01-30T19:10:57.723+13:00Episode Thirty Five: Homework<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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Part way through last year my middle boy started school. I still can't believe I have two kids who go to school. We're all getting old! School has been a friggin nightmare for us, I can't lie to you. My eldest boy has been let down by his school a few too many times to mention (probably best left for another post). It had made me incredibly apprehensive about my middle boy starting school, but we got there. Part of that was starting him at a totally different school to his older brother on the other side of town. I'm happy to report that so far it's been a success. </div>
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His transition into school was made a bit difficult with his ear problems. He, unfortunately inherited my propensity for ear infections and had his first set of grommets when he was younger. Moving into school he was basically so deaf he wasn't picking up much of what his teacher was saying. Poor guy. After getting that sorted with more surgery, we played catch up with some of his learning at home. Part of this was re-learning letters and their sounds (letters sound pretty mangled with glue ear, unfortunately).</div>
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This was a simple process of making cards for each letter (capital letters on one side and lower case on the other). To start off with I held up each card and asked him what letter I was holding. If he got them right, they went into the correct pile. If he got them wrong they went into a 'to learn' pile. What I found was that the letters that sounded similar (F or S) needed a bit of reinforcement. So, each day for a week after work I held up the cards with the 'to learn' letters and quizzed him again. By the end of the week we were humming along nicely.<br>
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We practised the sounds of these letters which needed to be re-learnt (is that a word?!). This was a really simple and easy process. We were lucky that he had a foundation from which to start from and a familiarity with some letters. But really, little exercises can go a long way to reinforcing what happens at school. I'm not a huge homework fan - both as a parent and when I was a school kid - but I can certainly see the benefit in bringing what's happening at school to home life. Pointing out instances of letters, objects or phenomena they're learning about at school in your time together is an easy way to do this. It can't hurt, right?</div>
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Investing in your children's learning can seem like a bit of a drag - especially if you're like me and you want to spend your time with your children actually having fun and doing cool stuff. But, if you can show your children that learning doesn't have to be torture and you can reward some of that learning with praise and admiration - well, it's not so bad. You can do ten minutes a day here and there and then move on to the playfights on the trampoline. Deal? Deal!</div>
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Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-5102371029704058502015-01-26T21:41:00.000+13:002015-01-26T22:22:57.998+13:00Dear Summer...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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Crikey I'm doing a slack job of this blog - but no fear. Like most people at the start of a New Year, I have a plan to shift my priorities and achieve more. Part of that equals updating this site more often.</div>
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I'd quite like to get to 52 ideas this year, if possible. So fingers crossed.</div>
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Anywho, Summer is here in New Zealand and it's a brilliant time get outside and do a whole stack of cool stuff with your children. The ocean is warm, the days are long and everyone seems to be more active and happy around this time of year. Love it.</div>
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So, from my family to yours, happy New Year. I hope 2015 brings lots of cool times with the children in your life. Hopefully you'll be seeing more of us soon.</div>
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<br />Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-76140053913596039762014-09-06T09:12:00.001+12:002014-09-06T09:14:53.206+12:00Dad Stuff: A Schmaltzy AdvertI don't know if it's the time of my life that I'm in or how I've been feeling leading up to Father's Day but I've become a bit of a sucker for cheesey, schmaltzy stuff like this:<br />
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To counteract the corporate advertising I've been sucked into, check out this awesome video of a Dad who dressed up every day to wave goodbye to his son as he caught the bus. Classic:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/GEow1f4l5sY" width="560"></iframe>Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-35454508498366334502014-09-05T09:00:00.000+12:002014-09-05T09:00:00.488+12:00Dad Stuff: Kids MoviesI often think about the media we expose our children to and what it's teaching them. We don't have a TV aerial but we do watch a lot of DVDs. This incredible TEDx talk by Colin Stokes gave me a lot to think of in terms of strong female leads. It may just make you rethink your childrens media intake or hopefully it lets you know you're on the right track. Either way, check it out below:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Nx8RRIiP53Q" width="560"></iframe>Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-65544247170829212802014-09-04T09:00:00.000+12:002014-09-04T09:00:02.555+12:00Dad Stuff: BatDadBeing a Dad can be fun and it doesn't have to be serious all the time. For some reason BatDad makes me laugh. The main reason is because the children seem so nonplussed and it's just another day with a crazy Dad for them. Pretty sure my own children feel the same way about me.<br />
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Enjoy BatDad:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/xShg52s1ZJk" width="560"></iframe>Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-31076048454408770432014-09-03T09:00:00.000+12:002014-09-03T09:00:02.217+12:00Dad Stuff: Dark Side Of The MoonI heard this the other day and it absolutely stopped me in my tracks. Well, it made me stop peddling my bike home from work and wipe some pesky dust out of both of my eyes (hate it when that happens).<br />
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<a href="http://www.chrisstaplesmusic.com/" target="_blank">Chris Staples</a> totally sums up parenthood in this incredibly sweet song from his 'American Soft' album. This is for all the Dads out there<br />
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<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/148211315&color=ff5500" width="100%"></iframe>Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-67029223781462148762014-09-02T09:00:00.000+12:002014-09-02T09:00:00.281+12:00Dad Stuff: Skin<a href="http://www.tomgouldshoots.com/" target="_blank">Tom Gould</a>, an incredibly talented guy from New Zealand shot this short film posted below. It's fascinating to read about people from different backgrounds and lifestyles. What's even more interesting to me is that people can be so different, yet the profound changes that come with parenthood are the same no matter who you are.<br />
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Check out 'Skin' by Tom Gould:<br />
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Hey team, long time no see!</div>
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I haven't written for a while because I've had a crazy Winter. We've had stomach bugs, the flu, floods, rats in the ceiling, glue ear and everything in between. All in all, I've been living a very human life and this is what I want to talk to you about.</div>
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<a href="http://ideasfordads.blogspot.co.nz/2014/04/a-new-idea.html" target="_blank">A few months back</a> I wrote about how my plan was to go from a 'How To' blog to a documentation of what I've been doing with my children. I was hoping to inspire you along the way. Unfortunately over the last few months it's felt like I've just been keeping my head above water. My baby girl hasn't been sleeping at night and either my wife and I end up sleeping in her bed or she with us. My youngest boy needs his second lot of grommets, has just started school and can't hear a thing. My oldest boy is struggling at school and not getting the support he needs. My wife and I are exhausted and so we haven't done many amazing things with our children. I barely have time to jump on the trampoline after work or play Lego before dinner. That's about the extent of what I've done with them. It's not that I've been neglecting them, I just haven't done anything Instagrammable, blog-worthy or pinnable. What I'm really trying to say to you, is that I've just been human. I'm no superhero. I'm no Father of the Year. I'm just a busy Dad trying to do the best he can. Sometimes that's all we can do. And guess what? That's OK.</div>
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What I've been trying to practise in between the book reading and the swing-pushing with my children is being real around them. I've talked to them about my feelings, my struggles, my guilt and my worries. Not to scare them or to upset them, but to show them that I'm human. I always tell people that my own relationship with my Dad started off with me thinking he was Superman, growing up to be a teenager and realising he was just a human, the becoming a parent myself and finding he was super human. I think there is danger in portraying ourselves as infallible and indestructible to our children.<br />
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I like to think that I'm raising healthy children by painting a realistic picture about what it means to be a Dad - and a large part of that puzzle is just being a human trying to find your way. I often tell my oldest son that I don't exactly know what I'm doing. I tell him that he reaches the milestones first and thus he is the testing ground for my parenting. Sometimes I will make a decision or discipline him and a day later come back and change my mind or apologise. I explain to him that I'm learning as I go along and I make mistakes. It's important to me that he knows that I'm in control of his parenting and that no matter what: all my decisions and actions come from a place of love and growth. But it's also important for me to show him that I'm just a guy who had kids. Nothing more, nothing less.<br />
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I think that sometimes we put up a facade when we're dealing with our children that gives them a false sense of who we are. This can extend to the people in our lives: our work colleagues, our wives, our family. Sometimes it can really ease the stress and the expectations that we put on ourselves (or rid the expectations we think people hold of us) by showing the people around us that we're just human and there's nothing wrong with that.<br />
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Have fun!Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-38745424234199512852014-06-11T13:00:00.000+12:002014-06-11T13:00:00.371+12:00Episode Thirty Three: Saturday Sports<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Over the last few weeks we have been talking about sacrificing or putting our own experiences aside in order to give our children a full life. This is my own example of putting my money where my mouth is: Saturday Sports.</div>
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My Saturday Sports career goes something like this: I played two matches of J.A.B rugby and on my second match got tackled so hard by guys three times my size that I thought, "there has got to be a better way" and that better way was sleeping in on Saturday mornings instead. Fast forward twenty odd years and I've never looked back. My sporting ability extends to backyard/beach cricket in the summer, two square when the mood strikes me and rugby on the trampoline with my kids. True story.</div>
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I never grew up in a family that gets up early on Saturday mornings to freeze on some field to play footy or to support someone in our family who was risking frostbite and twisted ankles. When it became apparent that my middle boy was somewhat of a natural athlete my wife and I fretted over the day when he would be old enough for Saturday Sports. Neither of us are particularly athletic, nor fond of doing anything on Saturday mornings</div>
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As we all know, our children are sent here to teach us - and test us. My middle boy is no exception. He has dragged his brother and I outside for games of rugby, soccer, throws-and-catches and trampoline sessions more times than we would like. But, that is where he finds his joy. He is a natural at anything physical and while his older brother is some sort of reading savant, the middle boy enjoys having something over his bookworm brother. Natural sibling rivalry, I guess. Running around kicking footballs, throwing softballs and doing flips on the trampoline are his happy place.</div>
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It's all very well to write this and say "You know what? I manned up and I enrolled him in soccer this season and that makes me an awesome Dad!". The real truth is, I had to learn how to be a Saturday Sport parent. I've never had one to observe. How do they act? What do they say? How do they deal with disappointment (their child's and their own)? How do they tread that fine line between fair play and win-or-die? How do they deal with their children getting injured by a stray elbow? Chin up, mate <i>or</i> Come on, Ref!!!<br />
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Guess what? I don't know. But like all Dads, I'm learning on the job. I'm seeing first hand what my sacrifice is doing for him. He's learning team work, perseverance, commitment and most of all he's learning that his Dad is there for him, whether he's passionate about his pursuit or not.<br />
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Unfortunately, your children may not follow in your footsteps. They might not be interested in what you love. But whatever they become interested in, you'll be giving them the world if you put yourself aside and enable them. Whether it be sports on a Saturday, driving them to a Dungeons & Dragons tournament or some other fan dangle thing you don't get. Put yourself aside and put them first. You'll both get so much out of it, trust me.<br />
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Have fun!</div>
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OK, confession time: I'm afraid of heights. </div>
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To be honest, I have a fear of heights in retrospect. I can climb up a ladder and I've even sky dived. But, if I think back on the event my brain thinks about all the things that could have gone wrong and I freak out. You'd think my survival instinct would kick in <i>before</i> the fact - but no. As a kid I used to walk across the Claudelands Bridge in Hamilton and if I think back to the view looking down, my heart races.</div>
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I don't know how this fear originated, but I am determined not to pass it on to my children. I don't like pumpkin and I'm not the biggest fan of Hootie & The Blowfish but I don't want to limit my childrens experiences because of my own fears or tastes. That might be taking New Age Parenting to epic new levels, but I feel like it's important to let your children be their own people. </div>
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Look, I know that there is only so much I can do in the scheme of things. As parents we can't save them from having the same hair colour as us or even the same temperament as us. But, despite some studies arguing the opposite, I think there is a possibility we can save them from our own fears and limitations. We all know what impact those fears have had on our lives and if there's any way we can spare our kids, then why not give it a go? </div>
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I remember I went to Cubs camp with my son. There was a father with his son there and he wouldn't let his boy get involved in any of the activities. No bush walks, no Burma trails at night, no climbing massive bamboo towers. The son was rearing to go but the Dad just wouldn't allow it. What was quite obvious to us, the other parents, was that the Dad was just scared. Maybe he has a bamboo phobia? Maybe he has a fear of the bush. Together we deduced that he was probably sacred of letting is son go. It can be terrifying to let your children take risks. But sometimes, you just need to feel the fear and do it anyway. In the end, we encouraged the father to try things out himself and his son was there all the way, talking him through it- reassuring him. It was an amazing moment and definitely a lesson I took away from that weekend that I use quite often.</div>
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You don't have to do anything as extreme as getting up on the roof with you children like I did. But maybe there is a small step you can make? Is there something you are afraid of or dislike that is disadvantaging your children? Are you denying them the greatness that is Hootie & The Blowfish? Are you stopping them from playing sports because you were not an athletic-type growing up? I'm not saying you're damaging your children by any means. But maybe you are closing off a little bit of the world that they may, in fact, thrive in. I may have a gifted rock climber in my midst, but if I never allow them the chance to experience climbing and getting up on the roof like a bunch of crazy people, then how will I know?<br />
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I don't want to come across as preachy and, to level with you, I'll never <i>ever</i> be able to mask the fact that I can't stand pumpkin. But, like anything to do with our children, to help them be the best they can be takes sacrifice. If that means grabbing the bull by the horns and facing your fears then why not give it a crack? I'll leave it up to you to decide whether it's worth it. In the end I did two things I didn't feel comfortable doing: I got up on the roof but, even worse, I got up there with my children. I think about what could have happened if they fell off the roof and broke bones and if my daughter fell off the ladder - but, it didn't happen. And they had a great time and in the end we are all better off for it.<br />
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Next week we will continue on this theme of sacrificing for the sake of our children's development. See you then and have fun!Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-91596108381066238862014-05-14T13:00:00.000+12:002014-05-14T13:00:01.248+12:00Episode Thirty One: Get Stuck In<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This post could easily be about how little time I have to do the things I set out to do around the house. I'll have to save that for another time.</div>
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Over the Summer my wife and I got inspired and decided we were going to get chickens. The problem being that we had nowhere suitable to put them. Upon looking around the section we decided if we chopped down three trees out the back we could build them a run there. The next problem was finding the time to actually do this. Cue: child labour.</div>
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My middle boy is into doing jobs. I don't know how that happened, both my wife and I detest them, but somehow this little boy has been asking to help since he could talk. He wants to mow the lawns, wash the car and, in this case, dig up tree stumps. When it comes to my children's interests, I try to indulge them within reason. But, having a kid with ridiculous amounts of energy and enthusiasm for things I've been putting off for months is a no-brainer.</div>
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I had already chopped the trees down a few months ago. To do this, I put said boy in front of a DVD to keep him inside. He would have been right there manning the saw if he knew what I was doing. So as a safety measure we employed the distracting talents of <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1772341/" target="_blank">Wreck It Ralph</a>. Then, a month or two later, after a particularly bad storm I knew that the ground would be very soft and the stumps would be easier to manoeuvre. I went out and started the job and within ten minutes the middle boy appeared asking, "Can I help?".</div>
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Using his hoe and spade he dug around each of the stumps for me and showed me where the big roots I needed to chop with the axe were. From there he negotiated a turn with the axe by telling me, "Don't worry Dad, I won't raise it above my head and I have shoes on!". I couldn't argue. I supervised him very closely and he had a crack at using the axe and freeing the stubborn stump from our back lawn. Soon enough my baby girl appeared, picked up the spade and got to work. </div>
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Having them there in the thick of the mud with swinging axes and other "risks", I was reminded of <a href="http://needleandnail.blogspot.co.nz/2014/04/the-journey-no-regrets.html" target="_blank">this post by Needle & Nail</a>. Sure, I was able to tell people that I had my little helpers and I was "just the supervisor". But the truth of the matter is that I was able to spend quality, engaged time with two of my children. I was able to teach them how to be safe with gardening tools. I was able to give them a job where there was a clear cut start and finish. They learnt job satisfaction after all three stumps were removed and no doubt, when we finally get our chickens, they can look at that run with pride knowing that they had a big part to play. </div>
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Your children want to see what you are doing and they want to get involved. Well, it depends on what it is. While we were digging up stumps my eldest spent the whole time inside reading Lord of The Rings - and that's fine. When I watch a documentary about the Spice Traders you can bet your bottom dollar he will slide next to me on the couch while the two younger ones couldn't care less. The fact is that our children are interested in us and one of the best things you can do is involve them. I guess that's a variation on this blog: Involve yourself with your children <i>and </i>let them be involved with you. Who knows what you'll learn from each other?</div>
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Have fun!</div>
Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-60578702928327237732014-05-12T13:00:00.000+12:002014-05-13T20:08:48.109+12:00Review: Rolston RiflesWhen I was younger, my Mother was on the local Play Centre committee and was a huge proponent of the 'No War Toys' movement. We had the stickers all over our car, our front door, our toy boxes - everything. Growing up in a farming community where most of the kids we knew were shooting real guns and killing real animals, it must have been a radical idea for people to swallow.<br />
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One day my brother brought home his woodwork project from school: A handmade, double-barreled shotgun. It was beautiful. The barrels swung on a wooden hinge to reveal two drilled holes emulating where you would put your shotgun cartridges. I remember holding my breath as my Mother looked at the gun and tried to figure out how this work of art would fit in with her ideals and values. We had our paintings on the wall and regularly ate the hokey pokey that my brother had learnt how to make in Home Ec. So why couldn't the gun stay?<br />
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In the end Mum relented and this piece of art became part of our toy collection. I was over the moon! I was a farmer, riding on my yellow and red plastic trike with this gun slung over my shoulder. I was an Olympic target shooter, lying on my trampoline yelling "Pull!". That gun changed my life in the sense that neon coloured Nerf guns give me the heebie jeebies. I can hear my Mother's voice talking about glorification and turning war and suffering into a cartoon parody. I would rather my children learnt how to shoot a real .22 than have a bright blue Super Soaker. Is that wrong?<br />
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When the <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/needleandnail" target="_blank">Rolston Rifle</a> arrived at our house it wasn't attached to a cardboard backing featuring a muscled cartoon warrior or clip art of explosions and helicopters. It was simply wrapped in corrugated cardboard and bubble wrap and immediately I was taken back to my childhood bedroom and the great standoff between my Mum and Brother. This gun isn't a war toy, it's a lovingly-crafted art piece.<br />
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Now featuring a real, functioning scope or a clever hose fitting to replicate a scope - these rifles are incredibly realistic. Made up of a beautifully crafted stock and single barrel, this gun has little details that piqued my interest. The bolt lever is genius and I love the customised name branding on the underside of the forestock (offered as a free option!). My son adored the fact that it had his name on it, possession is everything with an older brother!</div>
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Grandfathers and Koros will look at this and think "Now, why didn't I think of that?". Children will cradle it in bed on Christmas night. Believe me, both of these things happened to our family. If you've been sitting on the fence on whether to let your children have guns or if you want something to trade with your children for those Nerf guns - I suggest this. It's incredibly well-made, it's made in New Zealand by an inspiring father of five and it comes with a pretend gun licence so your children grow up knowing the true reality of guns and gun ownership. Awesome.</div>
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And because the team at <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/needleandnail" target="_blank">Needle & Nail</a> are so awesome, they've offered up a <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/needleandnail" target="_blank">Rolston Rifle</a> for you to win. All you have to do is follow these three easy steps:</div>
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1) <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ideasfordadsnz" target="_blank">like Ideas For Dads on Facebook</a></div>
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2) <a href="https://www.facebook.com/needleandnail?fref=ts" target="_blank">like Needle & Nail on Facebook</a></div>
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3) login to the nifty widget to the right of this post (if you're reading on the blog) or go <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ideasfordadsnz/app_228910107186452" target="_blank">here</a> if you're on Facebook.<br />
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An eligible winner will be drawn on May 23rd 2014 at 8:00pm (local time).</div>
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Have fun and good luck!</div>
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Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-31959416212431636712014-05-09T13:00:00.000+12:002014-05-09T13:00:01.942+12:00Cool Stuff: Fencing & Sword FightingSword fighting seems to be a bit of a theme in our house at the moment. Lord of The Rings movies are on repeat and the epic battle scenes are being replayed on the trampoline, to the couch, to the lounge floor.<br />
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Check out these cool videos on realistic sword fighting and, my favourite, fencing:<br />
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Have fun!Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-91222447319877122962014-05-07T13:00:00.000+12:002014-05-07T13:00:01.711+12:00Episode Thirty: Go Fish!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hey Team! I missed out last week as I was in Australia for a few days and totally forgot all about you. Never mind, I'm back this week with a classic one.</div>
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I can't believe I haven't used this idea yet: Fishing! First, a little disclaimer: I'm not a fishing kind of guy. I used to go fishing now and then with my Dad when I would stay at his place. All in all I was pretty crap at it and not very patient. I remember once I caught 13 Herrings off the Kinohaku Bridge and another time I caught 8 Kahawai in a net in the Kawhia Harbour. That is about the extent of my fishing career.</div>
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But, now that I have two boys who are old enough to not run off the side of a wharf into the water below, I'm really enjoying the idea of fishing. Luckily for me, my boys seem to enjoy it. Either that or they humour me. I'm happy either way. On sunny Saturdays we try our luck and put our rag-tag collection of fishing tackle in the water to see what happens. </div>
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We don't really have much luck and that affects the enthusiasm of these two guys, but they still stick with it. I find it's a constant struggle for them to keep their lines in the water. Every two minutes they want to check your bait - that might have something to do with our success rate.</div>
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There are so many things our children can experience in an afternoon of fishing: The practice of patience, getting their hands dirty/fishy, learning sustainable fishing practices, hand/eye coordination and the practice of patience.</div>
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We've combined a lot of our fishing outings with the local kid's fishing competitions that are held in our town. These are great because they're geared around encouraging a new generation of fisherpeople. Not only is there the promise of prizes for heaviest fish etc etc. Often times the kids will get prizes for entering or be eligible for spot prizes. The last two we have been to have had a free sausage sizzle. Good times.</div>
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My three tips for you are these:</div>
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<li>Be prepared to end up doing most of the fishing yourself while your children 'just check out that boat at the other end of the wharf'. Happens every time.</li>
<li>If you do end up hooking a fish while you're holding their rod - resist the temptation to reel it in yourself. Ask them to check the bait. They'll wind in the line and voila! They've caught a fish.</li>
<li>Always have a contingency plan that involves stopping in at the local fish n chip shop to drown your sorrows. It's almost tradition, right?</li>
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Have fun!Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-44783937109055931222014-04-25T13:00:00.000+12:002014-04-25T13:00:06.329+12:00Cool Stuff: What Is ANZAC Day?For those readers outside of New Zealand or Australia, ANZAC day is like our veterans day. It's a day for us to reflect on the sacrifice made by so many so that we could have the freedom we enjoy today.<br />
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As my Grandfather fought in World War II, my boys are fairly aware of the importance of ANZAC day and why we celebrate it. However, the video below shows Kiwi kids explaining in their own words why we observe ANZAC day.<br />
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Enjoy your day off today.Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-78953164714897441582014-04-23T13:00:00.000+12:002014-04-23T13:00:01.176+12:00Episode Twenty Nine: Some Ideas Fail<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Last year we tried making popsicle stick bow and arrows. I can't claim this idea as my own sorry, this comes from an amazing blog called <a href="http://thebroodinghen.blogspot.co.nz/2010/06/tiny-bow-arrow.html" target="_blank">The Brooding Hen</a>. I saw the idea on Pinterest and straight away thought my boys would love it. I was right but we got it oh so wrong.</div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Kyqh9slIYAA/U0Z62m8H1_I/AAAAAAAABcI/6-qui76PuoU/s1600/IMG_0624.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Kyqh9slIYAA/U0Z62m8H1_I/AAAAAAAABcI/6-qui76PuoU/s1600/IMG_0624.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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Some times you try ideas and they don't work. I think it's really important to acknowledge that. I think it's important for me to share with you that sometimes my kids aren't into the ideas. Or we miss out an ingredient or something breaks. This was the case with our first attempt at making these bows and arrows. But that's OK.</div>
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What I've found with my sons is that if they can't nail something straight away, they're not interested. This goes for the ideas that we try sometimes or big things like learning to ride a bike. If they don't believe they can succeed first pop - or if they don't pull off a trick straight away, they're not into it. This is totally understandable, and I even get that way some times. But it's <i>how</i> we deal with this disappointment and disinterest that shapes our character.</div>
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The first time we tried making the bow and arrows, I didn't soak the sticks for long enough and the majority of them snapped. The ones that didn't snap, bent the wrong way and the bow string sort of twisted around in a way that made the arrows hard to launch. My bright idea that I was so excited to share with my boys was met with rolled eyes and my boys promptly moved on. Stink.</div>
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But, I decided to put the idea on the shelf and come back to it another day. You're not going to be Tony Hawk straight away. What's important though is learning that you aren't always going to be amazing first go. Some things are really hard to do and take practise. That's why we admire our sports heroes or favourite musicians. They honed their craft to a point that it makes it look easy. So easy, in fact, that you believe that it really is - until you pick up a guitar or jump on a skateboard. What I wanted to teach my sons was that, yes, some things don't work first time - but that's no reason to give up. That's no reason to never try again.</div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Oshv2fWReFQ/U0Z61PC2Y-I/AAAAAAAABbs/ntgCfOoOsQw/s1600/IMG_0613.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Oshv2fWReFQ/U0Z61PC2Y-I/AAAAAAAABbs/ntgCfOoOsQw/s1600/IMG_0613.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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Earlier this year I dusted the idea off and we gave it another crack. The mini bow and arrows worked out perfectly and we had heaps of fun. Neither of my boys mentioned the previous failed attempt (which was weird) and we had a blast.</div>
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It just goes to show, just because you're not an expert straight off doesn't mean you never will be. Teach your kids to keep trying and who knows what they'll achieve.</div>
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Have fun!</div>
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The animations give you clues but it's still fun seeing how many you can guess without looking.</div>
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Have fun!</div>
Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9004769479621864375.post-74337866460167643752014-04-16T13:00:00.000+12:002014-04-16T13:00:02.250+12:00Episode Twenty Eight: Use Spray Paint<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
When I was young my Mother was making resources for one of her childcare centres that she owned. She got milk bottles, filled them with rice, covered them with newsprint, spray painted them and, with brushes, painted weird Aztec patterns all over them. I probably helped with measuring up cups or rice or mixing the wheat paste for the newsprint or something like that - but I don't remember. All I remember is that I got to use spray paint!</div>
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Spray paint is one of those perennial favourites with kids (and adults) - like balloons or pizza. Spray paint never stops being fun. I'm in my thirties and I <i>still</i> love mucking around with spray paint. I decided to share the joy and let my kids have some good old supervised fun with aerosols.</div>
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The first thing to note about spray paint is that the stuff is pretty fumey and full of crazy chemicals - so if you're not into exposing your kids to that I would suggest masks, gloves and safety glasses. I compromised by letting my children use the spray paint in a well ventilated area and to give them a lesson on which way to aim the nozzle etc. </div>
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What my middle boy learnt was that painting anything precise with spray paint is hard. Really, really hard. I tried to show him some tricks that I picked up during my younger days. We talked about graffiti and tags and we talked about how, although it's naughty to paint on things that aren't yours, some of the graffiti is pretty clever. It takes a lot of practise to make things look cool.</div>
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Basically, there wasn't any lesson or point I was trying to get across. This idea was merely just a chance to be out in the sun mucking around with a bit of paint (and give the clothing rack last seen in <a href="http://ideasfordads.blogspot.co.nz/2013/09/episode-seventeen-painters-tape-target.html" target="_blank">Episode Seventeen</a> another run). We painted a bit, stood back and admired our work and then went inside to eat lunch. Easy.</div>
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What sort of things do you still enjoy doing that you loved doing as a kid? These may be the very things that help you and your children connect. As I've said before, your children will love to see your enthusiasm for a certain activity. It's infectious. Why not dig out that old hobby - the spray cans, the Magic: The Gathering Cards, or chatter rings and show them? You never know, you might have bred the next Cope2 or Tony Hawk.</div>
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Bonus: A great video on can control. There's more to it than you think.</div>
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Dad Burgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02308624596174746203noreply@blogger.com1